Being a man and a father has many advantages. They vary from "being able to use the bathroom standing up" to "being able to fart among a group of friends and be faced with nothing but chuckles". We're men. We watch sports, we drink beer (some of us), and we say dumb things and do even dumber things. Eventually, due to the miracle of science we've discussed in past blogs, we become fathers. Being a dad has its perks as well. My child needed to eat from day 1 and some milk would be put into a bottle and I would hold it. My breasts would not get sore from feeding him, my groin has never felt pain because of this kid, and if I fled to Mexico on an impromptu expedition, this child would get fed. These are just facts people.
Don't get me wrong though ladies. We're jealous of you in many ways. I
speak for all men, even the ones that squat 400 pounds at the gym and act like
they don't know who Kim Kardashian is. If a girl's at a poker table with
a group of guys, she is the center of attention. Plop me down in a kitchen
surrounded by ladies baking, and they are counting the seconds till I leave.
You get nothing but warnings while we get speeding tickets. You literally
have "tools" that can be used as weapons, pillows and attention grabbers.
No matter how much we evolve as a society, no man will walk into a bar with a
rolled up gym sock in his pants and have 10 girls come up and buy him drinks. .
That's not how this works. Women rule the world and men basically are
blabbering idiots just trying to impress girls. How this ties into
my subject for this week's blog is rather simple.
My son
doesn't cuddle on me. He doesn't snuggle into my chest. He doesn't OFTEN fall
asleep on my chest. He loves me. He loves playing with me. He spots me from a
mile away. He wants to make funny sounds. He wants to learn the nuances of zone
defense in basketball. He loves his Dad. But when he's sleepy, he loves
Mommy WAY more. He loves Mommy way more because of her weapons, her Milk
cartons, her attention grabbers. He nestles in and he's out cold within
minutes. I can't blame him, but I find myself being jealous that I'll
never have the skills or resources his Mommy has.
Now I
know what you're thinking. "I thought this was a baby blog, why are you
talking about breasts the whole time? Aren't you a father you sicko?” I
am a father. I am also a man. When you have a son, men, he becomes
Mommy's # 1 and he basically rules the roost. This creates a new hierarchy
of Mommy in charge, Baby second in command, and Mommy as second backup just in
case and then somewhere after the cat, gerbil and goldfish is Daddy. You
accept it and you appreciate the love that they share. Although I ask the
question here today, I already know the answer of
Tune in next week when we dive into "Please Give Me A Smile Baby, I'll Do Anything".
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